To those out there who can shoot upright at even the idea of your alarm, I applaud you. Nay -- I envy you. I’ve never been the kind to seize the day; instead, I often suffered the long-unfunny joke from my parents when I’d finally waltz into the kitchen on a Sunday morning: “Good afternoon.”
Don’t get me wrong, when I am up early, I’m a big fan. It’s quiet, the sun creeps in gloriously over the horizon, you have ample time to set up your day instead of feeling like you’re playing catch-up for 12 hours. And, most of the time, I don’t have a problem waking up. It’s the actual act of getting out of bed that remains elusive to my barely-conscious morning self. Sometimes, I’ll lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, and simply argue with myself about why I should or shouldn’t get out of bed…until I fall back asleep.
That all said, I’ve been searching my entire adult life for a way to get the heck out of bed in the morning. I like to think I’ve tried (or, at least, thought about trying) all the usual suspects: leaving my phone across the room, working my way to an earlier alarm in 15-minute increments, going to sleep earlier. But none of the above have made it possible for me to consistently get up in the morning. Naturally, I’m always on the prowl for new ideas.
Which is why I signed on to the “habit loop” as described in this TikTok:
Did I do any research of my own? Of course not; this is the internet age, where everything you see must be taken at face value. But I figured the strategy couldn’t hurt. Though the idea that it takes just 21 days to create a habit is a myth, actually (the more you know!), the idea of rewarding a “good” (read: desired) act -- in this case, waking up earlier -- seems like a natural albeit elementary model.
So, how’d I do?
I decided that socks and a new workout set, as Shelby used as her rewards, wouldn’t work for me; socks aren’t exciting and I tend to loosen my wallet way too much when it comes to sets. So, I modified: My first reward was to be a gourmet doughnut from my favorite shop and my second would be a book. As someone who only reserves space in the bookshelf for special novels, purchasing a new hardcover always feels like a treat. I started modestly: I was averaging an 8 to 8:15 a.m. roll out of bed and wanted to give myself an extra hour. The alarm was set for 7.
The first week, I succeeded on Monday and immediately fell off on Tuesday. I declared the week a bust and didn’t try for the remaining three days. No reward.
I ignored the habit loop the week after; my work schedule was all over the place and my hormones were having a field day. I slept when I felt like it.
Coming off that unorganized week, I got my sh*t together. I meal-prepped, had a rigid workout schedule set for me (my favorite influencer was starting a virtual challenge) and felt like I was in control. That week, it was 7 a.m. across the board -- I had made it to my doughnut.
As New England luck would have it, that weekend was cold, sleety and all around not good walking weather. I didn’t make it to the doughnut shop, but vowed I’d forge ahead with an IOU to myself. But, reader, I’m sad to say that I’ve yet to reach my book reward.
Since that first week, I’ve fallen off the habit loop wagon. I’ve managed to swing 7 a.m. once or twice since then, but the inconsistency has been debilitating to the budding habit. While I wish I had better news, I do have some takeaways.
1. Routine is your friend. It’s no surprise that the week when my Sunday night was productive, efficient and spent setting me up for success, I rocked that alarm. I knew I’d be able to handle the day and was excited to do so. Having a regimented workout schedule only helped that sense of plan of attack. Once that control slipped, so, too, did my habit.
2. Maybe stick to the reward system. I don’t doubt that my problem may lie with the very element that makes this habit loop strategy unique: the reward. I didn’t actually get the doughnut -- I just told myself I would. If there are any psychologists reading this, I’m sure you can tell me exactly why I didn’t continue waking up when I wanted to, but I also don’t think it takes a genius to put that together.
3. Keeping your schedule individual to your habits as much as possible could be key. Something I noticed on the days that I decidedly didn’t respond to my habit cue was that I was relating my routine to that of those around me. Well, if the shower’s taken… If he’s still sleeping, I may as well stay in bed… If I don’t have to show my face at a meeting until 10… Of course, there are times when you have to work around others, but creating a routine for yourself means just that: yourself.
4. Don’t set expectations for the morning. Weirdly, I felt way better when I got up early knowing I had absolutely nothing to do. Sometimes I read a chapter of my book; sometimes I showered nice and early and went out for a Hot Girl Walk™; sometimes I scrolled TikTok and played Wordle. Meanwhile, on the days when I vowed to finish a workout by 7:30, I stalled, snoozing the alarm and burying my head under the covers. Even though the point of waking up early (for me, at least) is to use it as productive, “me” time, not putting pressure on how I spent the hour worked out way better. And, plot twist: Some days, I got up and wanted to work out. Huh!
This is all to say that I will be trying the habit loop again, with actual rewards this time, but I’ll also simply be making some frame-of-mind adjustments. Easier said than done, of course, but I’ll have plenty of time to think while I’m laying in bed, convincing myself to get up.